A Beginner’s Guide To Shadow Work (Practices, Books, Affirmations And Journal Prompts)
Have you ever caught yourself reacting to something and wondered, “Why did that bother me so much?”
Maybe rejection hits you harder than you’d like to admit. Maybe you struggle to say no without feeling guilty, or you keep repeating the same patterns even though you desperately want to change.
Sometimes becoming the woman you want to be means turning toward the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to hide—the angry you, the insecure you, the people-pleasing you, and even the little girl who still wants to feel chosen.
That’s where shadow work comes in.
Shadow work helps you look beneath your triggers, fears, and old patterns with curiosity instead of judgment.
So come sit with me, Flow Girl. In this beginner’s guide, we’re exploring five gentle shadow work practices—including journaling, prompts, books, affirmations, and mirror conversations—to help you begin meeting the parts of yourself you’ve been running from.
This post is all about how to start with shadow work to become your dream woman.
What Is Shadow Work?
“Shadow work is personal development for your mind”
Shadow work is a reflective and transformative practice centered around healing to get to that higher version of yourself.
What Is The Shadow Side?
“The shadow side is that part of us that we try to run from, hide ignore stuff away or learned not to express—sometimes without even realizing it.”
Psychologist Carl Jung describes the shadow side as the hidden part of one’s human mind.
He saw the shadow as a part of our personality that we’ve learned was unacceptable, embarrassing, undesirable, or unsafe to express.
For example, you might have learned as a child:
“Good girls don’t get angry.”
So instead of expressing your anger you hide it and force yourself to not react to situations that causes you to feel angry. But the truth about the shadow side is like peter pan, the more we run from it or try to ignore it, the quicker the shadow follows.
What we can do is to start with working with the shadow. Patch it up, heal it and learn how to no longer make it this mischievous, shameful part of us that screams for our attention that you keep running from.
Once you start seeing your shadow side and accepting her, she will be able to activate your feminine energy, show yourself compassion, create healthy boundaries, and put refrain from wearing the good girl mask.
Shadow Work Guide: 5 Healing Practices To Heal Your Shadow Side
1. Start a Shadow Work Journal
Embrace your feelings by writing them out instead of pushing them away. You can start with a guided journal or a lined journal if you want more control over what you want to write.
The goal of starting a shadow work journal isn’t to make every journal entry sound beautiful or have all the answers.
It’s about being completely honest with yourself.
So, write about the thoughts you normally push away, the moments that trigger you, the memories you keep returning to, and the feelings you’re afraid to admit out loud.
Once you start to release what makes you feel angry, ashamed, rejected, jealous, afraid, or not good enough, you’ll start to understand the parts of yourself that need more attention, compassion, and reflection.
2. Shadow Work Books
Reading shadow work books will serve as a mirror and a map to recognize and explore how your shadow show up and gently uncover parts of yourself you have tried to hide or stuff away and how you can work with it, patch it up, heal it and make it no longer this mischievous part of yourself that screams for your attention.
Consider these six shadow books as a starting point. Choose one, read it slowly, and embrace your shadow side:
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: As you read this book, you may find yourself asking, “Do I actually believe this about myself, or was I taught to believe it?”—which is exactly the kind of self-reflection that can open the door to deeper shadow work.
2. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is a gentle place to start your shadow work journey because it encourages you to pay attention to the way you speak to yourself and the beliefs you’ve carried from your past
3. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. Ford will invite you to accept the parts of yourself you once believed you needed to hide in order to be loved.
4. Untamed by Glennon Doyle. This book will encourage you to question who you were taught to be and rediscover your true self. It will invite you to notice the “good girl” rules, and people-pleasing habits that may have taught you to silence your own wants and intuition.
3. Start with Gentle Shadow Work Prompts
I love journaling but when my brain gets foggy what brings my journaling practice to life is starting with journal prompts.
Shadow work prompts will help you get out of your own way by giving you the starting to dive deeper into your thoughts and feelings and pour everything out on the page.
They can either be statements or written as a question—suggestions or ideas that are yours to build on and expand from.
8 Shadow Work Prompts to Help You Discover a Greater Sense of Self:
1. What childhood memory still brings up strong emotions for me? What did I need in that moment that I didn’t get and how can I express this emotion right now?
2. What rules did my family have growing up that no one talked about? How do those rules still affect the choices I make today?
3. How do I react when I feel shame, fear, or emotional pain? When did I first learn to respond this way?
4. What am I hoping someone I love will heal or fix inside me? What happened in my past that made me believe I needed someone else to give me what I was missing?
5. When I make a mistake, what cruel or painful things do I say to myself? Whose voice does my inner critic remind me of, and when did I start believing those words?
6. If I could finally let go of one painful story I’ve believed about myself for years, what would it be? Who could I become if I stopped carrying that story with me?
7. What part of myself have I spent years hiding, silencing, or wishing I could change? What would it feel like to finally let that part of me be seen, heard, and accepted?
8. What part of my inner child still feels unseen or unloved? What do they need from me now?
4. Shadow Work Affirmations
Lately, reciting feminine energy affirmations has become a big part of my morning routine. Not only do they challenge some of my limiting beliefs, but they also help me define the woman I want to become.
And this is exactly why affirmations are such a gentle place to start if you’re new to shadow work.
10 gentle shadow work affirmations to start with:
1. My mistakes are part of my story, but they do not define who I am. I choose to forgive myself, make things right where I can, and keep growing.
2. I no longer need to prove that I am worthy of love, respect, or acceptance. The approval I’ve been searching for in others is something I can finally give to myself.
3. I am allowed to become the woman I want to be.
4. I can give myself the love and compassion I needed when I was younger.
5. I give myself permission to walk away from relationships that leave me feeling empty, unseen, or exhausted.
6. I give myself permission to walk away from relationships that leave me feeling empty, unseen, or exhausted.
7. My time, love, and energy are precious, and I deserve relationships that pour into me too.
8. I am grateful for the difficult seasons I’ve survived. They have softened my heart, deepened my compassion, and taught me to give others the kindness I once needed myself.
9. I release the need to keep living in what has already happened or worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
10. I am learning to come home to this moment, because my life is happening right here, right now.
5. Mirror Conversations
Your mirror is not only for looking at your appearance or do your makeup. It is also a safe space to hear yourself without immediately judging, correcting or dismissing your feelings.
Start simple by just sitting in front of your mirror, relax your shoulders, look at yourself, and ask:
- What have I believed about myself for so long that it has started to feel like the truth? What am I finally ready to stop believing?
- What words have I spent years wishing someone would say to me? Can I look at myself now and finally say those words to the woman in the mirror?
- What beautiful moment have I recently experienced but was too distracted, afraid, or guarded to fully enjoy? What would it feel like to let myself receive that joy?
- What mistake am I still quietly punishing myself for? What would happen if I looked at myself today and said, “I forgive you”?
- If I loved myself the way I’ve always wanted to be loved, how would I speak to myself, care for myself, and show up for myself differently?
- When was the last time I looked at myself and genuinely felt beautiful—not because someone else told me I was, but because I could finally see it for myself?
Let’s Chat, Flow Girl…
I hope this guide reminded you that shadow work isn’t about finding everything that is “wrong” with you but meeting the parts of yourself you’ve hidden, silenced, judged, or pushed away—and learning to understand them with a little more compassion.
I’d love to hear from you, let me know in the comments:
- Which shadow work practice are you going to try first?
- What part of yourself are you ready to understand instead of hiding from?
Until next time,
Keep flowing back to yourself.
